bad bad day

Toby, I'm having a really hard day. I don't know why this day is any different than yesterday, but I can't stop crying. I miss you so much I feel like I'm going to explode. I really don't understand any of this. I keep torturing myself about not letting you in that night. I'll never forgive myself. I want you to be home so bad and it kills me to know that is impossible. I'm hurting so bad. I can't stop crying. I hate whoever hit you. I really do. I'm so sick about this.